blog
Why Men Must always compete - Part one.
4/16/24
Men today are faced with unique obstacles that their fathers and grandfathers did not have to contend with. Their obstacles were best described as grueling while the obstacles faced by the modern men are perhaps best described as complex. These spiritual, societal, vocational, and relational obstacles will often challenge a man to be his best and even then he will have to take it a step further and become better than his best. This pursuit and achievement of excellence is what determines whether you are *the* Guy or just another guy – a JAG as I call it. The Guy understands that playing just to play is not enough. He wants to play to win and if he doesn’t win, he corrects course and comes back stronger so that victory becomes an inevitability. A JAG is just happy to be in the game. He might talk about wanting to win, but he’s perfectly ok with taking a back seat and letting others lead him to victory. The Guy strives to be better today than he was yesterday and knows that in order to win in life, you need to compete everyday.
So many men today fear competition. They risk so little and put forth even less effort to become their best selves. These same men – these JAGS – also expect to be handed the keys to success without having to grind for it. They don’t understand that the grind is what builds resilience and grit. Meanwhile, men of value understand little is given and much is earned. They compete every single day to be better than the man they were yesterday. They pound out reps at the gym so that they can build strength. They run long and hard on the track so that they can test their endurance. They push their reflexes to the limit and master braking techniques so they can shave milliseconds off their lap times on the racetrack. They stay up late reading books and articles so they can improve their skillset. They surround themselves with more knowledgeable people so they can absorb information like a sponge. They do all this because in their world, being just another guy is unacceptable. They must compete hard against their past self so that they can become the prime version of themselves. They compete so they can be The Guy and not just another guy.
- Bryan Do
Why Men Must always compete - Part two.
4/24/24
The idea of competition seems adversarial to most people. And why not? We’re accustomed to watching athletes competing against one another for sports supremacy. Nations compete with each other for economic standing. In the animal kingdom, the males of the species compete for dominance. Some of you reading this might work in seemingly cutthroat industries where you compete with others in what can be a zero-sum game. But true competition for the modern man exists independent of any adversary, sport, or vocation. It lies within - where a man’s only real competition is himself. Specifically, his former self.
No opponent you face nor any competitor you’re matched up with can ever equal your toughest opponent: yourself. Your competition doesn’t know your biggest weaknesses or your darkest fears. Your past self contains all of your insecurities, weaknesses, and self-doubt. And if you listen to this past self it can convince you that you cannot achieve your goals and that you are better off just being comfortable or content – devoid of victory but free from failure. But this doesn’t have to be the case. Your past self also contains all of your growth, your victories, and your collection of life lessons. Modern men need to listen to that past self because it’s laying the blueprint for you to become your prime self.
Your only true opponent is this confidence-depleting past self that whispers in your ear that things are too tough, everyone is against you, and that you’re just not good enough. At times, it might appear that the world is against you. But in these moments, it is ok to seek help and support. Whether it is with your tribe of men, your significant other, or seeking men’s therapy. In my therapy room I help you to see how the obstacles in your life are tools simply to help you reach your prime self. When something seems insurmountable is when the modern man should be most grateful. Once he overcomes that Herculean obstacle, he’ll come out the other end a man that truly personifies grit and resilience as opposed to the JAG that never faces true challenges and as a result neither knows success nor failure.
- Bryan Do
Why Men Must always compete - Part three.
4/25/24
The burden of performance has always fallen on men. Despite what some might say, strong-willed and high-achieving men have never fallen out of style regardless of decade, century, or age. After all, history does not share stories about the weakest of men standing proud in their ineptitude. Instead, it sings songs of determined and gritty men who challenged themselves to be their prime selves and, in the process, achieved great things. Strength of will, strength of ability, and strength of mind have driven men to accomplish great things, and this is possible through the power of competition.
For the modern man to be The Guy, he needs qualities like grit and resilience to become the prime version of himself. Grit and resilience can only be developed in the crucible of competition. And it is the idea of always competing that will see a man through his lowest points. Compete to be better than you were yesterday. Compete to be better than you were any past day. Compete to be your prime self, but you cannot stop. This relentless drive will lead a man to overcome any obstacles by drawing on the experiences of his past-self and developing solutions based on his now-evolved prime self.
Your focus and goals can shift, but you must always maintain your competitive edge so that you never move backward. Conventional therapy may or may not help men to achieve a competitive mindset, but it the cornerstone of my brand of therapy. You will be challenged to abandon past beliefs that no longer serve you. You will be challenged to identify strategies that have helped you in the past and can help you moving forward. You will be challenged to use all of your grit, resilience, and competitive spirit to become your prime self.
- Bryan Do